i apologize if you ran into me today. it was a shit day. i had a bad attitude and i took it out on nearly everyone around me, except for the paying customers. a girl’s still gotta eat. after work, i was hoping that some retail therapy would cure what ailed me, but that, like other things in my life these days, fell short of expectation. when shopping fails to elevate my mood, i know something stronger is afoot.
as i wandered the aisles of sparkly cheer, i could feel my funk being exacerbated by the impending holiday. my financial situation means sparse gift-giving to those i love. i’m single again. i am suddenly one cat short of my usual brood. all in all, bah humbug does not even begin to cover it.
and then, amidst the salad spinners and the “kiss the cook” aprons, i found this. or rather, this found me:
a coffee mug. a three dollar, mass-produced-in-china piece of clay. a utilitarian vessel hanging on a wall of hundreds just like it. and somehow, even though blue isn’t my favorite color, it reached out and smacked me in the face. it cut through all of the “keep calm”s and the “life is good”s and actually said something that i could hear.
make it happen.
because only i can. i can bitch about my job, and my bills, and the stagnancy of my soul, but that brief release isn’t going to fix a damn thing. i can drown myself in bad tv and good wine, and the next morning will still begin the same way. unless i do something about it.
we all need to wallow from time to time, and the length of said wallowing is different for every person and situation. in the end, only i can decide that it is time for action. only i can say that tomorrow is not going to be another shit day.